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Thanks to all for the advice and suggestions. It saved me.
Start a notebook now, write down ALL contact you have w/APS, bank, etc. Date, time, person you talked to, what you told them (in brief).
$3k - is this the caregiver's pay? Wouldn't be excessive for 2 wks care + food, but if she is already being paid...uh oh!
Credit card -- report potential identity theft/fraud TO THE CREDIT CARD CO-again, -- since they are the ones on the hook, they may at least give her a small limit. You may have to go the dementia route & "undue influence" charges against caregiver. Look up caregiver to see if similar charges already filed.
After a day with the police and my aunt's attorney I found out that as long as she insists she is giving the money freely and we don't have a dementia diagnosis there is nothing to be done. I also found out that my aunt has created new legal documents. I assume I am removed from everything including medical POA. My lawyer has a conflict but I need to decide if I just want to let this go or pursue guardianship. Everyone agrees they are taking advantage of her but no one seems to be able to act. I am so exhausted just getting this far which is basically no where. She is happy with them and they are taking good physical care of her for now but I hate to think of what will happen when her money runs out.
My sister says if this is what she wants we should just back away. I think that she ( aunt) appointed me to look over things and this means following this through but boy am I tired of this. Just a reminder, I take care of her sister as well though she is long distance and very cooperative so not as big a deal. But it is still there.
And yes right now my only concern is her money. She is going to need to move to some assisted living facily sooner rather than later. She is almost blind and has dementia. When she makes the move she has the money to get into a decent place that should last her until she dies. That is why she has saved so diligently for so many years. She made me power of attorney to keep an eye on these sorts of issues and that is what I am doing. It is her money, not mine or these people who are taking advantage of her. And I know when all her money is gone, these people will be too and she will be my responsibility to house and take care of.
I don't apologize for differentiating between her and my mother. In this case my mom and this sister hated each other and I still get earfulls about my deceased mother from this one. As I said early on , I have no first cousins and 3 elderly aunts that have made me their POAs ( finances are my strength). I do the best I can by them but I am unwilling to put my independence on hold so they can maintain the illusion of their independence. . These people are breaking the law in our state, it is a police matter and not my job to physically keep them away by camping out at her house.
Not going to go live with her or babysit her. I have a life and am trying to find a job. I already put the job search on hold for months when she had her previous eye surgery and her sister's husband died and I had to handle those matters. Now it has been almost a year since I moved and I haven't really gotten my life going because of these Aunt issues. It is a lot of emotional work as most of you know with no thanks. I am trying to do the right thing by her but not at my own expense.Though it is a good idea and if it were my mother I would do it in a heartbeat. This is a distant aunt who I hardly saw until about 10 years ago when she moved closer to my sister.
It's a stupid test in my opinion.
I also didn't hire these caregivers. This is her handyman who has dropped in and out of her life as he needs money. Now is wife hangs out at my Aunt's since she lost her job. She takes her to the bank and withdraws money . There doesn't seem to be a pattern or I would try and be there. We offered to pay them at first as they are taking good physical care of my aunt but she can't afford to lose this much money so quickly as eventually she will need to go somewhere.
Spent day at police, bank and doctors. Everyone keeps directing me to someone else.
Just curious...how do you know about the credit card and 3,000.00? Do you have access to her account information? Call the bank, and explain the situation to them if you have account access. Maybe they will freeze her accounts for 24 hours. Are you concerned about your mothers well-being or isthemoney the main concern? Good luck.
i am also caring for family members in virginia while residing in california
anytime money is invloved it is very difficult to detach emotionally we are more attached to money than to the contentedness, security & well-being of elders
how do i know? i live these delimmas also
Never hire a private caregiver who has not been background checked, and
Nd employed by a licensed reputable agency. Preferable a member of the NPDA.
Again a GCM can assist you with finding appropriate caregiver agencies. Contacting the states attorney may also expedite the process of investigation.
I agree with nanny cams, and all protective devices that can be instituted. Always chech in on loved ones often, be suspicious if you are being told they aren't available for you to come by and see them.
, and never allow caregivers to handle checkbook or money. They are not competent or allowed to do that. Provide grocery cash cards for purchase of groceries, toiletries, etc. Exocet receipts with change and take all financial information, jewelry , an pd valuables to a lock box in her financial institution. Monitor her credit rating for charge cards opened against her will, change address to a pub for her bills, Medicare, insurance, bank, and other important information. Direct deposit her social security or pensions into her bank account. Good luck to you and God bless you both.
Please let us know if you get results. You'll be providing useful information for the next person with this situation.