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Caring for our loved ones is hard, regardless of our training or lack thereof.
You are doing the best you can. Don’t put an extra burden on yourself that just because you have mental health training that it should be easier for you.
Each layer of help you have makes a difference. So it’s great you have help coming in and that your sister is going to try to help too. And get therapy for yourself if you can.
Come here and vent anytime you need to.
I’m hoping you come to peace in regards to your brother with his addiction. It won’t help you or your dad for you to give him a hard time. It probably won’t help your brother. He knows what he needs to do. Let him go. It’s his life he’s trying to live. You have enough to deal with. I’m sorry if I’m out of line to suggest that. We see many people here who spend their precious emotional energy trying to control the actions of their siblings. You can’t do it. It doesn’t work.
Come back and let us know how you are doing.
You don't sound like a victim, you just sound like a loving daughter that's getting burned out and tired.
I don't think moving him in is a good idea. You and your husband do need space and to be able to have time for your marriage and each other, and you are already doing a lot to help your dad. I agree too about the family meeting. You and your siblings should sit down and discuss your dad's care with dad present, and come up with a plan as to what the next steps will be, but I would be clear that you cannot do everything.