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I am comfortable in my rut but can handle change as well. At 87 I'm the techie person in the house and I manage. There were/are challenges to downsizing my home of 40 years and moving to a different community, but I'm managing.
My mother taught herself to use a computer at age 94, and after retirement at 65 travelled 1/2 the year to Haiti to do volunteer work until she was 85. She enjoyed change, in fact I would say she sought it. At 86 she moved across the continent to be nearer family.
I've read that one major factor in managing old age successfully is being flexible. I guess that means managing change.
If someone gets sick and has mobility issues or other problems that prevent routine of pre-health issues, these folks created routine based on what they can physically do. One day just turns in to another.
Some folks just do better with routine that is established by others: school, work, etc. Others probably always enjoyed change and squeezing new things into their daily lives. These two types of people probably are the same then as they are now.
We both retired last year, leased out the family home, downsized substantially, and moved to our ‘cabin in the woods’. We got back into organic vegetable gardening in November 2023 and a simpler way of life for sure!
This thread has been an endless source of comfort and information as my 73 YO brother was hospitalized for three months from a near-fatal car accident that has changed his life dramatically. I had to use the ‘unsafe discharge’ line I learned here on the hospital. Very effective. He just moved into a small senior independent living community last weekend, and he’s now doing quite well with ongoing PT, and will be getting further speech and memory rehab, but every step is a battle. I’m trying to teach him some tech, and last night he texted me a picture, and made a video call. Small wonders!! We seniors HAVE to keep up with some tech, just to follow our MyCharts or make money transfers at the least, and check in with the kids on Instagram. And visit this site!
maybe rearrange daily schedule
Do things at different tines
rearramge furniture nor even book order or stuff and you may find you adapt to change as you instigate it
not too much to stress you out tho!
Read a book you haven’t sort of thing - don’t just settle fur what you’re used to in your comfort zone box
in my youth I used to change jobs often- I’d just get bored :-)
anyway - it held me in good sted when I got older and company kept changing our jobs - where others would be traumatised I was rather like oh - ok
and just adapted
So my advice is shake up your routine a bit and try something maybe you haven’t done before - that could be read a book you wouldn’t normally have chosen-watch a film you wouldn’t normally choose to watch
maybe try an easy crossword
An element is in accepting change
best wishes
People need to see a reason / motivation to change.
People fear the unknown.
Practice living in present time (through meditation).
Google Rick Hanson, Ph.D., neuro-plasticity brain psychologistl + Buddhist scholar. Join his Wed night 6 Zoom meeting (meditation and dharma talk).
He attracts around 400+ people worldwide. It is very supportive, inspirational.
Everything starts with a desire, awareness, motivation when a person sees a benefit.
For me, it is looking at the longer picture as I age (73 now) - and how I envision and want to be as a age - aware, healthy, engaged, enjoying / finding comfort and fun. Although this that active engagement / work.
I had to go through a difficult grieving period the last 1-3/4 years and it is still with me. Aging means I will experience more grief and I need to prepare myself as best I can to manage these feelings. I find exercise / MOVING to be foundational to my well-being.
So many people are 'used to' not being pro-active ... And just exist really, passing time. People feel power-less. How does this turn around? For me, it was pain. As is said in the AA program(s), "you hit bottom and there is only one way to go" - do something positive to change. Lots of people accept as their only option to stay stuck ... however, that door is ALWAYS OPEN, regardless of age if a person wants to re-frame, reset ... find more inner peace. It is an inner investigation.
Feeling and being present means feeling all the icky painful feelings to process through them. Many people do not either believe this is possible and/or they don't want to feel the pain so they numb out (overeating, drinking - some addictive behavior), or dwell in a depressive state.
This is my $0.02. What do you and others think?
Gena / Touch Matters
Not long ago I bought a new stove because the previous one was just to complicated to use. It's like, come on, I just want to heat water, not fly a 747. Same with the washing machine and dryer. I went to the appliance store and asked for "simple", well it did cost a lot more and I had to wait several months for delivery but boy it was well worth it. Laundry is no longer frustrating.
I stopped using my cellphone, and life became so much calmer. Oh I still own one but just because pay phones have disappeared off this planet. Right now I am using my desktop computer where I get to use ALL my fingers when typing :) I just found out my grand-daughter (who is in college) has also set aside her cellphone and she is finding herself so much happier.
Finally explained to my hubby's grown kids, that there will be NO new vehicles as the old Jeeps we have were built with the KISS theory in mind. Newer vehicles are just way too complex. Like, what?, no gear shift? That means I would need to put on my reading glasses to turn the dial to D or P. No thanks. I can shift gears blindfolded in my old vehicle.
Yeah, there's a reason people get set in their ways.
It’s also that we finally begin to accept ourselves for what we are, what we want, what we like and don’t like, after years of trying to fit into what others expect of us and we really don’t care anymore who disapproves.
To others that can be seen as holding ourselves back but on the other hand it is very liberating to finally admit, like Popeye, “I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam”!
I just finished the same book. So cute! I love her writing. Uplifting, but practical, and funny!
🤗
At 61 that truly gives me hope of life in my latter 60s
As for me, I am eager for change. I will be looking at Continuing Care Retirement Communities. I'm cleaning out and looking forward to moving. My adventure begins now and at 69 I need to do as much adventuring as I can before the clock starts ticking down. I'm currently reading "Oh No, Not The Home!" by Peggy Rowe (mother of the Dirty Jobs guy, Mike Rowe). They embraced the change of moving to a CCRC in their 80s and now they love it.
I will admit that I used to enjoy the challenge of setting up a new computer or other device, now I am to the point of "plug it in and hope it works." I hate that I have to keep the instruction books for the microwave, the new stove, the car etc. close at hand. Oh, and the glasses too, so I can read those instructions!
Honestly I highly doubt my mom ever left that mentally.
I'm just wondering when I'm on my late 80s, am I going to have the 70-80s era mentally.
Except hubby asked me if I wanted to go , Parsailing, that was a big fat NO. 😂
And Im trying to learn new things all the time, and I am concoring a tad bit of tech , compared to me a few years ago.
I'm just really worried about sitting being older and sitting around saying " kids this days, and those gosh darn hair cuts,," ect....
A few years ago , are local news caster we watched everyday, retired, I was actually mad at him. How dare he make me change. 😆 and realized ok your turning into mom.
One of those things caregiveing has taught me, that I want to be more adaptable
I accept change as an inevitable part of life and especially aging. I and dh will do whatever is required to keep ourselves safe and not living with any one of our 7 children as we age. Whatever we need to do, we'll do. Senior Living is fine and dandy with us, in fact. There's a great IL high rise in town we like a lot, so that can be an option. And it will be an enjoyable experience there, to boot!
And, if worse comes to worse, we have our own "exit plan" if things get very bad or dementia sets in.
I'm 60, and through menopause. It's harder now for me to catch on, and also to retain information. I HATE it, but that's just the way it is, for my brain.
I'm guessing there is a similar path that men's brains take.
As far as politics, we can't change it so we have to accept it or just block it out. No reason to let it ruin us. I agree with you , with that.
I feel, as for getting to know you this past year, that yes you have trac issues and other age related issue, but honestly, you are very open minded and maybe not as set in your ways as much as you may think. I think your pretty awesome.
As for all the other age related issue, ugh, that does NOT sound fun.
Not at all.
And as a matter of fact, as I get more near to it I feel that dying on the floor in my home unable to summon help would be a blessing.
As you know, Neil had himself a stroke fewer than two weeks ago.
He was one of fewer than 10% who came out of it entirely intact. I count him very lucky, but I was over him when he was saying he wouldn't have an embolectomy shouting at him that I am "WILLING TO LET YOU GO, but I am NOT willing to allow you to survive half way to sit with no left side in a nursing home for more years".
And that was the truth.
Death is not the problem. It is the complete indignity of the losses. Park of those losses are resiliency. I just put a note up on Facebook saying basically "Leave me out of politics now; I haven't the elasticity. I just want to be left alone with my art, my garden, my friends, my foster dog, my true crime podcasts, and my huge bag of Trader Joe Original Potato chips".
So, nope. We are not adaptable. Tech is anathema. We don't have the brain cells and we don't have the adaptability. We are losing pieces of us along the way everywhere we go. Start with the hair, the eyes, the ears, the skin, and end with the cripples toes that don't even feel enough to KNOW they are crippled.
I say this as an 82 year old lucky enough (and quite honestly THRILLED) to be able to walk the streets of my city (they are more and more dangerous and more and more dirty). I say this as someone still with quite a lot of "interest" in it all.
But nope, like a rubber band left out in the sun, I don't snap back. Give me a pull and I just break. There's not a lot of "fun" left girl. AC is fun!!!!!!! But when your own daughter at mid 60s begins to crump, you start to wonder "Where's the exit and when can I get out of here".
I would love to skip the ALF. Like my bro said "It's like the army. I don't much like it but I make the best of it." I will as well. Just don't ask me to love it.
Ana, oh I hear you about technology, ugh took me two days to set a new TV up, but I did it!! 😁
Cwillie, I hear ya.