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Tell her she needs to spend the money on dentures that fit because the ones she's using now is making dining with her a disgusting experience and you know she does not want that.
At 92 a person should by that time realize they can't take it with them so they might as well buy dentures that fit or anything else they may need or want.
As for the stinking incontinence pads. They sell ones that are lavender and baking soda to help with odors. I think Poise brand puts them out.
You are in good company.
One of the best RNs I know was weak stomached with suctioning. She would be in suctioning and gagging at the same time.
ALL RNs I know are beset by SOMETHING, and can't get through without gagging, or in my own case with dizziness and a threat to faint. My first near faint was with circumsions (Please don't ever attempt to tell me "they don't feel it). Later I noticed when my patients call out with pain I went dizzy. It never went away, but I could overcome it with breathing deep.
Try whatever works, but this is a bodily protective response and you are far from alone.
I got her some moist wipes and that plus regular showers helped a lot. She was wearing depends but they were mostly for backup as she was able to make it to the toilet usually. BMs proved a bit of a problem as she couldn’t clean herself well enough afterwards and ended up getting it all over and under her nails. After a couple times I asked her to let me clean her, it was far easier to do it myself.
I guess what I’m saying is I don’t see this getting better. Someone who is infirm and incontinent is probably not doing a good job cleaning herself, no? If it’s not something you can handle it might be time to look for another care solution.
Everyone has their limitations. This particular aspect was the least of my problems, but other parts of caregiving were much harder for me. I know I couldn’t have done it long term. It sounds like you have your hands full with your own health issues. For both your sakes, it might be time for a change.
I have a pretty good gag response but I sure know what you mean. In all of my pregnancies, there would be certain smells that would simply make me barf, no matter what I did. Over-fried eggs being one--after 45 years I am still unable to eat a runny fried egg. (Gagging as I type this).
Mom would now be wearing depends. She would also be taken to the bathroom every two hours. Have he sit a minute longer, bend forward and make sure she voids completely. UTIs have a strong odor.
You may need to place Mom. With carpal tunnel, you are not going to be able to lift her when she needs to be. You don't want to have to toilet her eventually. Been there and had a blow out to clean up. Mom was on iron. Was so nice when she went to the AL. I took advantage of those aides.
1. Denture glue?
2. Pad check/change after each meal?
I guess as time goes on, if you are going to run an assisted living for one, you have the right to insist on some home rules?
Alva, thanks for the tales/laughs/nausea.. Nurses need MEDALS of bravery every single day!
Don’t watch Mom eat .
And consider placing your mother . Her care needs will increase .
I hope you find a suitable place where she can be cared for 24/7 by professionals.
I spent my career as an RN.
We ALL had something that made us gag. For my friend Robin it was suctioning heavy secretions, and I can still remember her there with a tonsil suction, her body heaving and the fluids getting suctioned out.
For me it was pain for my patient. I can recall helping a patient hold her position for a lumbar puncture. Her moans caused my nausea. I can recall a patient whose doctor decided to "pop her breast implant encapsulation" (they don't do this anymore, having learned it's very dangerous the hard way) in the ER. Her scream took me fainting and nauseated to the floor.
So gagging is a natural part of our body's vaso-vagal nerve reaction to something repellant to us. And that I know of, short of a good whiff of smelling salt, there isn't always a lot to get us to "snap out of it".
I sure wish you the best of luck. Some have luck with just training their own mind. Most don't. A good mask may help. But then you have the breathing difficulty as you go about your work a bit short of breath.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Poligrip-Power-Hold-Plus-Seal-Denture-Cream-Unflavored-2-2-Oz-4-Pk/571452773
It really is like cement. Line the denture with a thinnish coat of the cream, and let it sit in her mouth for half an hour w/o eating or drinking.
If that doesn't work and mom's eating is making you gag at your own dinner table, I'd tell her to get new dentures or move out. Not everything is open for negotiation, my friend. If she enjoys the privilege of living with you, YOU need to be comfortable in your own home. It's only fair, let's face it. It's okay to ask her for what YOU need!
For your gag reflex, except while eating, get a paper mask and cover it with minty toothpaste. Then put another paper mask over it, and place both masks over your face. That's an RN trick they use when cleaning up blow out's. 😑
Better yet, get mom on a toileting schedule every 2 hours where the stinking briefs are no longer an issue. Again, boundaries and rules must prevail if you are to live in peace and not turn your home into a nursing home.
But in the meantime, why don't you just puree all of her food and kick her dentures to the curb? And I hope that if your mom is incontinent that she's wearing more than just a pad in her underwear as you imply. She should be wearing Depends with a pad in them if needed and they should be changed every 2 hours so you don't have such a full and smelly load.
Both the pureed foods and changing every 2 hours are pretty standard in most nursing facilities.
Best wishes in finding the right one for your mom.
Do not wait to smell urine before you tell her she needs to go to the bathroom.
If her dentures are not fitting properly they probably are not doing much good.
Change meals so that they are meals she can eat without teeth.
You can make the same thing for her that you make for yourself you just need to mince the food or even process it so that it can be eaten with a spoon. Or foods that are very soft and do not need chewing.
Monitor what she is eating and how, You may have to begin using a swab that is made for clearing the mouth clear the space between the cheek and gums both top and bottom.
It may get to the point where you may have to consider placing mom if you are going to be unable to handle more bladder and bowel incontinence.
2/ When you smell urine you tell her that she needs to go and change.