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I was set toleave but she had a bad immediate recovery from the operation. She came home and the air conditioner inthe living broke down. Thank goodness she could be in the air conditioning in the bedroom. Meanwhile she started throwing up. I was trying to stay calm and we called the nurse, who found out that she had got up super early and had one of he pain meds without any food.
My father retreated out to the yard to paint the gutters, which in his mind was necessary before we could arrange the patio furniture. He wanted to have a space for her outside. He was doing something for her but within a limited definition of gender roles. I took care of her and got her to the point where she could keep veggie broth down,then cooked her a lunch that did stick, then later, soup.
Eventually she was well enough to take a walk outside to the backyard and sit on the patio furniture he had arranged for her. She is now on oxygen so he can be her caregiver from that technical point of view, like, "I am the hose-meister." I see his challenges in having the basic knowledge to take care of her but also I think he likes to be "Mr Masculinity" and stress how he, as a man, knows nothing of kitchen things. Well hopefully he can find he kitchen expertise to open a can of soup for her or read the instructions on a trader joes bag. It is so hot in their house that it's not practical for me to cook her a bunch of dishes. Maybe before I leave, though, I could get er some good takeout from whole market or another good pace that would see her through until she is stronger.
I can't fix the dysfunction... Hopefully today she will be strong enough that I can see that she is out of the woods and go home. She has to be strong enough to be able to keep track of her medications. Now that she has more of them and has to coordinate some of them with food it's more challenging for her.
It is so healthy of you to recognize that! You did a great service to fill out those tedious housing applications. Whether they will follow through and move when an opening is available is beyond your control.
Continue to do what you reasonably can to address practical issues. But you are right that you can't fix the dysfunction.