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I don't think our parents ever thought they would live to be in their 90s relying on others for their care. We have money invested but that doesn't mean we won't lose it.
My parents were fortunate enough to have the funds to live in an excellent Assisted Living community until they passed away. Had they not had the finances to do that, they'd have lived with a roommate in a Skilled Nursing Facility which would not have been nearly as wonderful as it was in their ALF. I made sure to watch their money like a hawk so it would last long enough TO finance their lives until they passed. I didn't get an inheritance, but that's fine. Their money was theirs to use for their own care. They had a ton of health issues that required managed care, so I thank God they were able to live in AL and then Memory Care for mom. I'm glad their money was drained for their care in their old age, truthfully.
What I did to help them was, I managed their entire lives for the 10.5 years they lived close by, after dad had to stop driving and I moved them to my state. As their only child, it all fell on me; the finances, the moves, the hospitalizations, the rehabs, the doctors, the specialists, hospice, all of it. I also decorated their apartments for the holidays, took them out to dinner, and about a million other things. Even with having them in managed care, it was a TON of work for those 10.5 years, that's for sure!
Before my folks moved here, I was a caregiver to elders thru Home Instead, an agency. I'd cook, clean, take elders' to appointments, run errands, grocery shop, help them with showers, and provide companionship too.
I was an in-home caregiver mostly to elderly for almost 25 years. I am currently residing in the 7th level (my mother's house) and am caregiver to her.
I will say this with absolute sincerity. Taking on the the responsibility and care for elderly relatives ruins lives. Don't do it.