By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Do we chose what keeps them safe? Do we chose what will make them happy?
It is often impossible do to both, especially if your loved on has dementia and has latched onto a single person, expected to provide 24/7 care.
I struggle with guilt, as illogical as it is. Yes, a form of grief.
Role play. You have just learned that in 10, 20, 30 years, whatever, you will have dementia such that you burn out your loved ones. Your demands and unbearable nature will overwhelm their fond memories of you. The time they devote to you will cut into their education and careers such that their retirement is jeopardized. The stress will erode their health. Their relationships will suffer.
I can’t imagine imposing this upon my children and I have told them that. Hire care, no matter how much I protest that I only want you. Put me in a home. Recognize that I need it and just do it. I would hate to die, having put my children and possibly grandchildren through hell. That would make me feel much worse than how I felt admitting I couldn’t handle caregiving for my own mother any longer, and placing her in a home. (where she gets very good care)
I like your description of the battle that goes on between the heart and the head. It’s quite accurate for many people.
This is why therapists have a job! They can help teach people to view their circumstances from a healthier perspective.
Balancing our emotions can be challenging. Again, it never hurts to ask for objective opinions if we feel that we are too close to the situation to make a logical decision on what is best for everyone.
The "head" can know, but that doesn't stop the grief of the heart, and it never can. It is important that the grief not be turned into the luggage of guilt.