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You are not at fault here, dear Neesa, but if I knew your grandmother's name and address I swear I'd call protective services myself.
I am extremely glad that you have the strength to remove yourself from this toxic situation. Please urge your mother to place her mother where she can get the attention and care she needs.
Your mom has had ample time to check into the cost of 24/7 in home care. I'm appalled that your mom allows your mental health to suffer in order to keep material assets.
Part of your obligation to preserving your own mental health is to act appropriately on your own behalf. Plus, you know in your heart that your grandma needs more help than she is getting at home. You know through your relationship with Jesus that love, comfort and compassion are more important that material goods.
Please step forward and take steps to help yourself and your grandmother.
Love and Hugs, Cattails.
Also she's getting very out of control. She has been receiving physical therapy so she is starting to walk a bit, but she today was wandering around the house about to fall down, trying to do the obsessive stuff she did before (wrapping garbage etc) I think even though she may be able to walk again it's going to cause more problems because she's so insane. I literally think she sounds like a demon when she is screaming when it gets bad enough. I have to stay away and have my own life or else I'll lose another couple of years of my life recovering from yet another mental breakdown. At this rate my whole life has been a recovery period from constant breakdowns, and now I finally have stability through accepting Jesus Christ. I would like to enjoy this new and precious stability I have, and this is truly bringing me to a place I cannot go.
Also my mom was looking at the cost of the average home health attendant's salary, and it is equivalent to her own. I think it's going to maybe turn out that we find that 24/7 care is more expensive than we thought, and it is just better to send her to a home anyway. Who knows, can't tell right now.
I recall on your grandmother's most recent hospitalization you said she did not want to come home because she felt professional care gave her more comfort.
The problem is that she has assets that you and your mom want to preserve. If you can do that without causing your grandmother unnecessary suffering, then that is fine, but I think you are past that point now. She needs more help than you can provide.
Cattails
Thinking about you,
Jeanne
I can't remember your story (I'm sorry) -- is Grandma near the end? Might she qualify for hospice? Pain relief is a high priority with them.
Would it give Grandma some comfort if you stayed in the room with her, said soothing things, perhaps applied a heating pad and/or ice packs -- anything to let her know at least you are trying and you would make the pain go away if you could? It doesn't sound like you are going to get to sleep tonight in any case.
Hugs to you, and to Grandma, too.