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Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.

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Nacy, I think Golden’s Facebook quote down this thread would be very appropriate here although I would replace the word ‘energy’ with the words ‘time or interest’. I think you have plenty of energy but why on Earth would you waste your time trying to educate a Troglodyte?
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@Alva

So basically you're saying Anxietynacy's male friend is doing some gaslighting mansplainin'. No one woman has time for that nonsense.

Nacy should tell this guy to go pound sand.
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No, Nacy, he isn't interested in apologizing to you or taking any responsibility. He is into twisting you into a pretzel that has no idea of beginning or end. He is interested in telling you that you "have a chip on shoulder" that you "misunderstood" that you "heard him wrong" that "he never said" that you are "too sensitive" and I could go on. They have a set of these things on some memory bank in their brains.
Glad that you chose to talk and glad that you chose to cut it off. The best you EVER get from these odd jerks is some sort of apology that isn't one: such as the classic "I am sorry that you are upset". Which means YOU own your upset; THEY had nothing to do with it.
It's all a mind game. They are into it. They love it.
Gaslighting 101.
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Thanks guys, you are absolutely right, we chatted a little, but yeah I'm done, no thoughts or feelings from him as an apology or even that he did anything wrong.
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@Alva

Very well said and true. One person can only think for and answer for themselves.

The misogyny towards women is growing every day since the election because the person who has won has normalized things like misogyny, bullying, bold-faced lying, raging, and general sarcastic a$$hole behavior. It's mainstream acceptable now. Whereas people who may have thought this way had to also know how to keep it in check because it wasn't acceptable just a few short years ago.

I remember my husband's cousin years ago carrying on about how easy women have it and the poor other half of the population, and so on. I told him that if men were the ones who got pregnant and gave birth our species would have become extinct before we even stood fully upright.
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Listen to Alva, she is correct.

Peoples minds are their own private acreage, lol.
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People who "pick your mind" in this manner, often with a smirky look on their faces, are often victims of psychopathy or sociopathy. They like to "toy" with people. They are expert at picking apart anything you have to say. They are sometimes charming, and once they have to captivated they strike like a snake. Take care. Don't let people play with your mind. They don't deserve the time of your day.
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You are absolutely right Alva!
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Nacy, when you do speak with this person speak in specific.
When you get a general "what do women think, want, blah blah blah" as specifically
WHICH WOMEN; I speak for MYSELF
What do they want about WHAT.
My guess, this is an A$$ who simply wants to argue and fight.
People's minds are their own private acreage. When they wish to share their minds they will give you a piece of them. When they don't it's ridiculous to ask.
Tell him to take some kind of interesting class somewhere.
You aren't there to teach that jerk "Equality 101". You are just living your life.
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Oh my I'm having quite the discussion with a more liberal mind male friend, who thinks he is not a misogynistic. I didn't like the way he treated a woman I know. I ended the friendship.

He texted me this morning wants to understand what life is like being a women, and wants more understanding now, after 3 days of me ignoring him.

I told him will talk later, I'll be bored and I'll after 2:30 and my covid vaccine.

He claims to be more liberal minded, will see, because his misogyny got much worse after election, and I'm pretty much done with him.
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Women are in increasing danger as there is an increase in misogyny in many countries . We are going backwards .

One excuse that is being peddled by those who want to oppress women is that they aren’t being heard . That they’ve been put on the back burner and tired of listening to women’s rights.

So instead of asking for their concerns to be heard and looking for equality , these toddlers want to oppress women with “ get back in the kitchen “ , and other phrases recently .

It seems everyone feels they aren’t being heard right now . It’s a mess .
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@Margaret

Gender apartheid is rampant all over the world and getting worse every day. Actual women and girls, not people who "identify" as females are being brutalized, killed, sexually assaulted, trafficked, and literally sold into child marriages all over the world including the United States. In the U.S. a grown man can marry an 12 year old in some states if they are given written permission by her family to do so. This kind of child sexual assault it totally legal if there's rings and a marriage license. The perpetrator goes to jail if there's not.

A practice called FGM (Google this term because it is too heinous for me to even explain here) is on the rise in Islamic countries and more than a few African countries. This horrific custom was banned through cooperation of nations and international law in the 2010's. Now at best it's a misdeamenor crime in some countries and there's no punishent at all.

The world needs to do better because half the population of it is actual females.
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Thanks to the people responding about US media and alphabet issues. I think my conclusion is that the media ride the wave of something new. The first stories get interest, largely for novelty. The computers tell the media company that there are a lot of hits on the stories. The journalists do more stories because it’s a current interest. Then from the sound of it, the novelty and the interest eventually wear out, and the wave subsides. I can hardly wait for it to happen here!

I’m very glad that harassing gay men is off the police to-do list, and I hope that ‘look at me, I’m different’ disappears as well. I don’t need to hear any more about how transgenders suffer if they can’t go into women’s toilets, or how awful they feel if they can’t compete in women’s sports. And Burnt, I quite agree about getting back to a focus on the fundamentals of rights and oppression, affecting half the population – women. I wonder if pulpit orators realise that they too are saying 'your body, my choice'?
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@Margaret

I think the "alphabet people" have been so over-emphasized that people here in the U.S. are exhausted of all the 'wokeness' aka nonsense over it. It's unfortunate that it's been shoved dwn everyone's throats so much that actual important issues get forgotten about and ignored by people.

Yes, American women and girls are losing the most basic, fundamental right guaranteed by the 4th Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. The right to Privacy under the law. Also women are losing the most basic of human rights. The power to make decisions concerning our own bodies. Evidently, to the majority of the American people saving a nickel on a gallon of gas and not having unisex restrooms was worth sacrificing the most basic human rights of all American women and girls.

@Anxietynacy

An abandoned toilet paper factory is asking for a bunch of teens to light TP on fire and jump over it with skateboards. I'm 50 years old and this would tempt me.

It was up to the owners of the factory to secure the place and have some security on it so kids can't get up to lighting toilet paper fires on the premesis.
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Every new channel dramatizes things , manipulates the news to get viewers.

I learned the hard way to never trust news.

My son at 15, was with a couple friends in an abandoned Toilet paper factory, they decided it was a good idea to start a small fire, and skate board over it. Well you can imagine what happened next. 14 fire companies came, and still the biggest fire in my county.

Every news channel said it was horrible, all said it was started maliciously and he burnt it down on purpose. One channel even illegal put my son's name on TV.

My family was stalked by reporters for quite a while.

I learned then to not believe what you read . So much of are news is bs
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Ana, it’s a problem any time anyone is being told what they should lose their mind over. It’s also a problem when they believe it and obey.
Remember the OLD tv show Dragnet? “Just the facts, ma’am.”
That kind of reporting is just a memory.
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Two words in Peasuep’s post are very important . Perception and Perspective.
For this reason I’m not confident there would be consistent answers to Margaret’s question .

It’s difficult to decipher at times if changing beliefs are the cause of what is in the media or the other way around .

The whole chicken or the egg , which is first thing ,
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Didn’t it seem odd that people were told to lose their minds over a trans face on a beer can but nobody mentions the detrimental influence of the Koch brothers? Child abuse fabrications about a pizza parlour and an online retailer, while clergy (where there is evidence, with victims calling out to be heard) are excused?

It’s as if we’re being told to hate the colour of our neighbour’s house while ignoring that our own is on fire.
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Margaret,
I’m trying to focus on your specific question as to whether the US media emphasis on, for lack of a better term, ‘LGBTQ+ rights’ is surging at this moment in time in the US as you perceive it to be in Australia.
From my limited perception, the answer is no. I believe the reason is that the ‘movement’ has been WAY over promoted in the media for the last few years, even in the opinion of some within that particular community.

That over promotion made public some very epic fails in business, sports and public policy in the US recently, and as a result I think the pendulum, for better or worse depending on one’s perspective, has reached its peak and is beginning to swing the other way, hopefully toward more balance.
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I assume it would depend on which media people are looking at ….., including network news , fringe media , podcasts, influencers , social media etc. It seems many media sources pick what they want to exaggerate , slant , and some even lie to push rhetoric or for monetary gain .
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I live in Canada, and my homes have all been close to the US border. Friends and family in both countries. Our media is a mix from both countries.

It certainly disturbed me that Title VII, enacted in 2014, was reversed in 2017. That action was solely for the purpose of taking away rights for the trans community. I think about 1/4 of states offer zero protection against harassment and firing of LGBTQ+ employees, hence the need for federal laws.

Empathy seems in short supply. Imagine your life if, because you are a woman, or your employer believes you to be a woman, your rights are gone. Walking on eggshells every day at work. The economic uncertainty knowing you’re a no-fault fire. The first to go, in spite of your record, because you have no recourse. The insult of being considered less of a human.

So I protest at the erosion of women’s and LGTBQ+’s rights. Canada tends to follow US social trends to some degree. We are seeing more socially conservative rhetoric, when really, people should wise up to the ‘divide and conquer’ lies and fear-mongering, used to distract us from serious issues. (climbing down off my soapbox now)
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Margaret - Our proximity to America means many Canadians get the vast majority of their news and opinions from American sources, so much so that some of the clowns arrested for ignoring pandemic rules spouted they were protecting their "constitutional" rights. It doesn't help that much of our media is owned by an American hedge fund.
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I think for me I am a huge gay pride supporter, because I know what it's like pretending you something your not your whole life in fear of being teased.

I was an atypical learner, trying to fit in a typical learning world, and hiding and being ashamed of it. Now I'm out and proud. In a sence like they are. Id be very happy if that was going on here, but I'm seeing much the opposite
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Margaret, that's very interesting, my first thought is " alphabet people" I've never heard of that. Is that what they want to be called. I've actually never heard that. I kinda think is cute.

I will tell you what I have seen, and read about is a bit of heterosexual extra testosterone. Men acting like proud peacocks, strutting there stuff. I read it's going on even in are liberal colleges. I've even noticed it in my own neighborhood. Which puts me in fear of women's rights

But otherwise, I feel like the "alphabet" people, ( hehe) are actually quieter here. From what I see in my area, they are more quiet than before.

For me I'm a very much gay pride supporter, id probably be out there with them. My feeling is it's not just gay pride they fight for, they fight for womens rights also, and I fear for women's rights now.
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This is a new general topic, and I hope it’s not seen as ‘political’. Australian media have had a strong emphasis in past months on what are sometimes known collectively as ‘alphabet people’ (LGBTQIA+), their rights to choose their gender, their perceived oppression etc. Following the US election I read some really awful far right comments dumping on women’s rights (eg your body, my choice), which I am NOT blaming on any political party.

While I support rights for everyone, I would prefer to think first about correcting the common gender oppression for the last few thousand years, rather than for small minorities who are recently making a lot of 'look at me' noise. On the site we still see a lot of female posters (not only from migrant backgrounds) who are still picking a lot of the worst responsibilities in aged care, because it's 'clearly' a job for women - wives, daughters and daughters-in-law.

What I would be interested to hear from my friends on the Forum is whether you too in the US have had this strong emphasis on very vocal ‘alphabet people’. A lot of people here are blaming it on our own media, perhaps with their own 'alphabet' component. People on the site ought to know. Any clues?
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It’s nuts, isn’t it? Years ago I worked in a specialist clinic associated with the Adventist system. When I started there, individual people were actually ‘seen’. Then, about 8 years in, a big management company took over and the whole system took a dive. It was awful to watch; worse to be part of. 2 years later I left that system never to return.

When I was diagnosed with cancer I paid out of network costs to see an oncologist I knew was ‘old-school’ and actually treated his patients as whole people. He retired early because the system would not allow him to provide primary care along with cancer care for his patients. He was the last of a dying breed.

This should probably be under a Whine!
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Psue - sounds like close to a big fat zero for the appointment. You wonder how much something like that costs the system, never mind what it costs you in time, effort and money. I am sure the pacemaker co would contact you if something was off.

Enjoy the plateau. Though the waiting for the next shoe to drop is hard. Hopefully the neuropsych appointment will be useful/enlightening.

For me the quote especially applies to family members. 🙄
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Oh Golden, I really like that! Most of the time I don’t mind being misunderstood but once in awhile I get caught off guard, especially if it’s with a family member.

Cardiology appointment was pretty worthless. This is a new doctor - DH’s previous cardiologist left the system so we needed to start all over again. Apparently there hasn’t been any change in his level of heart failure because follow-up is in one year. DH was taken off one blood thinner which I appreciate. The tech required to check his pacemaker/defibrillator canceled at the last minute so I have no idea if things are stable there. It is monitored, so I assume the company would contact me if there was a problem. Thank you for asking!

Onward to neuro-psyche next month. Things have plateaued around here, which is nice, but as always I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop.
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Found this bit of wisdom this morning and it resonated with me. - posted by Laddie Mae f/b

"I don't have the energy to debate. I'm at at peace with being misunderstood."

Oh, boy, am I!!!!

Psue - how did the cardiology appointment go?
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Nacy, Its cardiology this time so I won’t know anything until tomorrow. Sweet of you to ask!
Neuro-psyche is next month.
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