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Just before going to sleep for the night, I asked him if he wanted the cap on.
He replied, "No, it will cover my head and make me bald."
I was just about to say 'Goodnight' back to him. When he said again, "Goodnight, Irene!"
I replied, "I'm not Irene."
He continued without pause, singing, "Good Night, Irene. Good night, Irene. I will see you in my dream...."
{eyes rolling} And here I thought he was saying goodnight to me!
After a while, dad said angrily, "I don't want to listen to men sing! I want to hear women singing!"
(I know he loved mother, but she did drive him crazy).
I recently asked dad for my aunt's address so I could send her a Christmas card. He started reading it to me from is address book. I guess he was trying to be current and he read it this way:
Aunt Jenny and Uncle John
1123 hashbrown 158 Highway
Camedon, NC
It's actually 1123 #158 Highway. Oh daddy. He cracks me up. Hashbrown...hashtag....what's the difference? lol
I started to laugh. Daddy asked why and I said it was just something I saw online that morning.
When the home care nurse was here in this past weekend, my dad said that's his daughter. Now, let me tell you this, Aunty N does Not look younger than her age. So, the nurse looks at the wall, has this puzzled look on his face - as my dad continues to talk about his daughter Catarina.
Finally, the nurse couldn't keep it in. He turns to me, and whispers, "Is that your sister?"
I chuckled, and replied, "No, that's HIS sister!"
The home nurse decided to flush his ears. Which was today. Dad did his best to be stoic but... he kept complaining that it hurt. The nurse kept flushing it because so much wax was inside.
Tonight, Dad said, "The doctor shouldn't have done that."
I asked him, "Done what?"
He replied, "The doctor shouldn't have poured water into my brain!"
"Today is Thanksgiving, I'm going to be busy so NO complaining from you"
She said in her childlike whine "I'll try"..
It's the most I can ask for!!
Another one that confused me was jumper, because here in America, a jumper is a pinafore dress.
I love how cookies (U.S.) are called biscuits (U.K.); especially chocolate biscuits. It sounds really delicious.
The difference between Americanisms and Britishisms can be a nightmare. You see we don't use the word fanny for bottom or in slang terms bum (its a little further forward if you get my drift!) so when someone asked me in the states if I had a fanny pack I was confused . I could only assume it was some sort of slang for a sanitary pad. So I said I am sorry I don't use them anymore. We had a rather convoluted conversation as to why and when I said I had had a hysterectomy so I had no use for them the penny clicked with her. She hooted with laughter and explained. Fanny packs are what we in Britain call bum bags. I could have done with that pad I nearly peed myself! Two countries divided by a common language. We wear pants under our trousers you wear panties under your pants. You have stick shift - we have manual cars. You say backhoe we say JCB weird old world
Today, the clinic called to remind him of his appointment in Tuesday. About 10 minutes after he hung up, he said, "I'm dying. I don't need to see the doctor."
An hour later, the news show Obama. My dad exclaimed, "There's the governor!"
However my mum is a prude not given to using foul language nor tolerating it in others. Imagine my shock today when she told the vicar (who brought her home) a joke.
She said how do you know which jelly babies are illegitimate? He said he didn't know to which she replied you tip up the bag and all the b£$%^ds fall out.
Now mum has zero sense of humour, can't remember what time of day it is most of the time yet somewhere deep in her psyche laid this joke. He had the good grace to laugh, more likely at the horror on my face. Then we both smiled in appreciation that somewhere inside that brain lie cells that are still linking together albeit in a very haphazard way.