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I also print out posts and threads. It helps, but now I have stacks of them everywhere. That doesn't help.
I just started a book I think you'd like: "Tears and Healing. The journey to the light after an abusive relationship," by Richard Skerritt. It may explain some things about your relationship with your mom and be of help to you. I found it online and ordered it, along with "Stop Walking on Eggshells." Just a thought. Talk to you later, when I'm not falling out. Sorry to hear about all your tears, but can relate. Hope you get some rest. Keep the hope and faith!
So I did make a small step , and its because of all you wonderful people reaching out to me! THANK YOU!!!
I am actually printing all your messages so I can read and re read.
Secret Sister , thank you for giving me the step by step...it has helped me a lot.
195 Austin...thank you for your comforting post!!!yours was the first for me to print...and coming tonight I see I have many many more!
You guys are awesome! We all have much in common.
Your posts about your feelings , explain much of what I feel...I am almost a carbon copy of what Doates feels!
I also cling to God. My faith has beengreater in the past...God has brought me through soooooooo much, but I DO FEEL DISTANT FROM HIM NOW. mAYBE BECAUSE THE CUT IS SO DEEP...i dunno. But I still pray , talk, cry , plead, to/with him.
He is all I really have now. He has blessed me with caring people like you ...so I know he is working on my behalf.
Thank you all!!
Bree
Today after starting the day in "insanityville",crying ( after trying to reason with a person on issues that they cant reason with...hell she dont remember the issues!) leaving to go do errands ...( shes good for a few hours alone , yet)and escape for a while. Only to return to more drama, nagging, relentless insulting and threats.....( I HAVE TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS ...EVEN IF its not good for her...she wants it - or I will experience continual requests for the same thing, then demands, which leads to anger ( from her...that her demands arent met) If I want to cry all night and feel like I have lost MY MIND ( which she tells me I have) I will do what I know needs to be done....or if I want a few moments peace , I ll give in and cave in t her demand.
Tonight/today was the previous one.
I have cried 4 rivers!
Ladies, we are in a difficult place trying to care for loved ones who shun our help. And we cannot really help them, or get them to understand, because they are either unwilling or unable. The kind of help they need, they resist. Unless they are a danger to themselves or others, we can't force it on them, either (as that's a whole process in itself). I've had to do that with one parent, with the help of authorities, and it's a difficult way to go. And trying to reason with a loved one who is cognitively challenged is practically impossible. You've heard the saying, "No good deed goes unpunished?" Sounds like what you ladies are facing. Believe me, I've lived that nightmare, too.
My prayers are with you ladies. Wish I could take your hand and walk you through this dark valley, but point you to the one who can. Above all, ask for help, and keep on asking. I found angels along the way, and help and blessings. Not everything went according to my wishes or desires, and much is still beyond my control. But that's OK. That's where faith comes in, and knowing you're not alone. On a practical note, seek professionals who can give you direction, as some help is available. Don't give up. Remember to take care of yourself, give yourself adequate rest, lots of grace, because this is not easy, guard your heart, and know you're not alone.