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There are world's between having to leave someone in a care facility (who cannot understand why & is combative, abusive, resistive etc) & someone moving in who is fully aware why they are moving in.
Do what's right for you & your LO.
In a drug/alcohol rehab facility, that is different. In those places they usually don't let someone have visitors for 28 days because they are detoxing. After that they do. With drug/alcohol rehab the person can leave any time they want, unless they've been court-ordered to be there. In a nursing home, memory care, or AL facility the resident can't leave.
What type of place are you describing? It sounds very confusing and perhaps you could come back and further inform us.
It is a suggestion only and people have to make their own decision about what is best for their loved ones.
Do some facilities get it wrong? Sure. It's not been my experience with 2 different places. And sometimes what happens is misinterpreted by those on the sidelines, due to lack of knowledge and experience. Emotions also can cloud how one experiences this process with a LO. Sometimes there are no other solutions because the elder didn't plan or save or both. For some problems there are just no good solutions. It can all be very shocking, depressing, enraging and just hard all around.