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I am retired. If not, I would not give up a job. You are not alone, and I hope you continue with us here. Big hugs!
It's so good of you to care for your dad. I know its hard. I too was the main caregiver for my dad and also had a full time job.
I don't know if any of your neighbors could visit with your dad. My dad loved to meet his buddies at the local café for coffee.
I would check in the community or through church and see if any volunteers could come to the house to get your dad out or just come for a visit.
Finding a housekeeper is a great idea. I find a little company is better than nothing.
With my own dad, he was a quiet person for the most part. We never even talked that much because I felt so overwhelmed. But if you can, maybe talk to your dad and ask him about what he wants and truly tell him how you are feeling. He might not even know he is putting all this pressure on you.
Did your dad have friends before he started to lose his hearing? If not, he may just be the type of person that is introverted and prefers to stay to himself.
I do not think quitting your job is the answer. As others have suggested, keep your financial independence, and hire a home health care aide or whatever type of similar worker they have in your country.
Is assisted living a possibility? Does he have the finances for it?
You also need to go out and maintain your own social life.
You will not be abandoning your father or neglecting him, in any way by taking care of yourself.
Like they say when a plane is in trouble to people who are in charge of children or the elderly.......put your oxygen mask on first.
If you are not keeping yourself emotionally strong and physically healthy, you can not help anyone.
Yes, I am in the process of trying to find a housekeeper. I figured having one would at least provide some help and companionship, especially during days when I need to go on business trips.
97yroldmom, you got it right! I was thinking of quitting because that's the portion of my life where I can carve out more time. But I do want to have financial security and career fulfillment. I feel like I constantly face a battle of choosing between my responsibilities as a daughter and my own dreams and goals.
GardenArtist, yes, the hearing impairment is a major factor. His right ear no longer hears anything, while the diagnosis for his left ear is already severe (3rd out of 4 levels of severity). I have learned to talk slowly and in a low tone, to be patient and explain things slowly, but of course, not everyone will understand that and would be willing to do that.
Please keep your suggestions coming! They help a lot!
Is your home a single family house with room to garden? My elderly Dad use to spend time in his garden growing veggies and flowering plants.
Do you know if he's able to hear men better than women? Sometimes the range of voice, especially soft female voices, is more difficult to hear. Has he shown any more interest in meeting with men than with women?
I believe that a hearing impediment is such a barrier to communication and to interaction, that it's easier to stay home than try to interact and be embarrassed by the inability to do so.
I don't really know what to suggest though; this was an issue I wasn't successfully able to handle, primarily b/c the hearing aide was too hard to manage given a hand injury; it was hard to insert and hard to remove.
Try to hire a layer of help to do the chores at home. A housekeeper will be a small measure of company for dad. I am assuming you live together? Tell sister dad needs help with things besides going out if that is her primary problem with helping. Don’t minimize the benefit of any help. But do accept that sister has the right to make her own decisions as do you. (not knowing the laws of your country, I am assuming you are not legally bound to provide care).
What are the options in your country for elders?
Do you have affordable health care? Does your salary make a difference in your life? Does dad have funds to provide for himself? What will happen to your future if you don’t have savings?
Can you hire a companion to take him for a walk each day? I’m sorry if my suggestions are not appropriate to you and your dad’s situation. I’m sure you’ve thought of these things before but know that you are not alone and you can come to this site anytime to vent. Hugs.