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I know there is supposed to be an epidemic of opioid abuse but there seems to be a lot of hysteria too. IMO a lot of the abuse is more meth, herion, Fentanyl... The poor individuals who really do need medicines such as Vicodin, Oxycontin, Percocet... are suffering.
I know somebody who is trying to switch to Tramadol, a less powerful opioid. Might be something to ask about. So sorry for you and your Mom. Thinking of you and hoping you can get the help you need. Hugs.
All of that said... I find my courage in knowing that I am honoring my father in taking care of him, no matter how difficult - emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, etc. I will fight for him until the day I die because I love him and because he can no longer fight for himself. When he has been in the hospital or at various doctor appointments, I have fought for him innumerable times. There have been times when he has been overwhelmed or confused and I know it has meant the world to him that I am his advocate. He was not a good father and he cannot make up for those years. He has, however, apologized for not being all that he should have, in recent years. That is huge for this 6'1" big guy. I have forgiven long ago.
Life is not fair. It's not always fun and it's usually not easy, but in the end, somehow God gives grace and strength. I am recovering from 3 major surgeries and cancer. Every day is filled with physical pain and I go to physical therapy twice a week (now going on 5 months). But, I rest in knowing that God's grace is sufficient for me and in my weakness, He is strong.
Blessings to you all as you provide care to those you love!
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE." ~ I Corinthians 13:13
Courage works if one has a cooperative elder. My Mom was like hitting a brick wall with my recommendations. It was like I was just a "kid" [in my 60's] and what did I know. Plus I am not one to challenge doctors. Bravo you had the courage to do so :)
With my Dad it was another story, I had inherited from him the curiosity to find a solution, and together we were able to work through it.