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I'm so sorry for everything you are feeling. You are a good person and you have done more than your fair share. I know sometimes we feel like we can't walk away from our parents, but when the situation escalates to this point, you must do it for yourself.
Please call Adult Protective Services or social services, talk to a counsellor. There is help in the community and through church. There are options. You don't have to do this anymore. I know it will be hard, but know that your husband and daughter will respect you more for it.
Thinking of you. Take care of yourself.
You can give up the POA. Tell Mom you are no longer taking care of her rentals. Its getting too much for you. She either sells them or put them into a managements hands. She also needs to sell her home and find an AL facility. And yes, you can sell Moms house if she is considered not competent to handle her affairs. POA is not in effect until this is determained.
Place her in convelesvent home for physicsl therapy telling her this is it. Your going home and u will be mainly alone.
If POA maybe put her house in reverse mortage. So u can hire a live in or care givers. To help het. If she refuses physical therapy take het home have a care giver there is she fires her she is on her own
Wake up call.
Why do you feel obligated?
You DO have an obligation to your husband and OMG, how much more so to you daughter! Before you quote the Bible to me, note that it says "honor" your parents. There is MUCH in Bible studies that indicates that this obligation is not to jump to their every whim, but to not cause them disgrace by your actions.
HER actions are going to cause you to have a breakdown.
You CAN resign your POA, you know. You can step back from whatever you do for her. You can call APS and tell them that she's a vulnerable elder (that's the truth).
Let her manage on her own if she's going to make your life hell. There is no reason for you to put up with this treatment.
has 5 rental properties she has strapped me with. I do have POA. I have called in a sitter ....she fires them....I have tried to put rental properties in rental mgmt she refuses...She will not allow me to call any social services, aging care etc....and she self medicates....did I mention i also have a teenage daughter....and a brother that also checked out years ago....and an unsupportive husband, and i lost my job in april...I left her home last night screaming because she was demanding and drunk and telling me i owed her. I am just so depressed and feel obligated.
You must have taken some action, and it mustn't have worked. Let's all work on this together. We can help.
Move forward. You deserve to live your life as you need and want to.
This has been getting bad for at least two years now, is that right?
Have you had any conversations with professionals about what your options might be? - elder care attorney, social worker, that kind of professional, I mean.
Tell them that you can no longer care for her in your home and that other arrangements will have to be made.
You CAN start eviction proceedings. Others have done it.
You get to make the best choices for YOUR life, not hers.
You CAN'T sell her house if you have POA; you are charged with doing what SHE wishes according to a POA. But if you have POA, you can resign it in a businesslike fashion and allow her to do what she wishes with her life, separate from yours.
Your mom can make unhealthy selfish choices; you can make your own.
If she lives in your home, that is YOUR choice. If she still owns her own home, why not take her back there? Let her use her resources to arrange others to care for her.