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If you haven't already, your Mom needs a complete physical and mental evaluation. (hallucinations are serious and can be caused by everything from poor nutrition or drug interactions to UTIs to Dementia) From there, I would contact the social worker at your local hospital - they have been great here. Sign your Mom up for all free or low cost services available in your community.
Your Mom needs to have an appropriate placement where she will be safe and you can get a breather knowing that she is safe.
You have a lot to deal with now, so leave the guilt baggage behind...you do not have time for it (your husband left, YOU stayed). You sound like a loving, giving person who is doing the best for both her mother and child. Check back here often...it has saved my sanity on more than one occasion.
You deserve good things to come your way....sending blessing to you and your family....
Lilli
If you want to regain control, your financial affairs have to be addressed immediately. That means securing child support and caregiver assistance through Medicare while your mom is re-housed to a place where she can get the specialized care you're not able to provide. Don't forget to drop by your local welfare office and apply for as much as you can.
As long as you have a roof over your head, enough food, and a steady source of cash to go back and forth you'll be fine. Once the basic survival issues have been taken care of, then you can sit down to reexamine your life, your options, try to heal all those emotional scars (or at least learn to live with them), and repair your self-esteem.
In the meantime, make a habit of taking deep breaths and stopping to "check yourself" to avoid acting on impulse. ... You're a lot stronger than you think, so don't even think about giving up. You can't afford it. And while you weave that safety net, sing for inspiration girl! ... Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" is a good place to start.
Here's a hug from NYC, and keep coming back to this forum.
-- ED