golden23 Posted May 2023
Adjusting to your LO's decrease in ability.
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It's just over a month since R's cancer surgery and he in the pre-op process for his knee surgery. I think it is too soon but he is in the health system and they are pushing him through. He doesn't want to lose his place as he has been waiting a long time for this and it is painful for him to walk - has been for years. He told me today he failed the stress test due to breathing problems he has been having - possibly due exposure to the wildfire smoke. I don't know if the problems are permanent or how that affect the plans for the knee surgery. He never has had breathing problems before and passed all his medicals well.
A few months ago he would have sailed through a stress test. Truthfully I am shocked.
I have taken over managing the condo flooring and cleaning from him. Thankfully I found someone to finish the flooring as the guy that was doing it is being a bit of a prima donna. I'll do this but you do that!" sort of thing. I believe it is only about a day or at the most 2 days’ work left. I will make all the other arrangements that are needed and have told him to concentrate on his health and getting well as he is by no means recovered from the earlier surgery though the surgeon had cleared him for the next surgery.
This is a big adjustment for both of us. I am thankful he has finally accepted that he can't do the moving and whatever else. Before his surgery he thought he could and I felt he had to find out for himself - and he did.
I am grateful that I can take over despite my age and my health issues. This whole moving experience has been riddled with problems - some in our control, more not in our control.
I really need your prayers and support to get me through this and moved to the condo. It needs to happen and soon!
Thanks, friends.
That huge amount of Vit. D does sound like, to me, too much.
People need to be careful and do high doses under a doctor's or practitioner's care.
Anyway I have decided I am making a trip down there to see that the last things get done and have a bit of a holiday. That will be after the renos here are finished. I have missed those trips down and our times in the hotel. It will be relaxing for both of us and I can also bring some stuff down with me in the car. I haven't done the drive for a couple of years but see no reason why I can't.
R seems to be in a bit of a fog and I guess that's not surprising with the surgery past and the surgery upcoming. A little vacation would do him good. We'll have some meals out, probably see an IMAX show and maybe more. Time to relax a bit.
Still moving forward, just a little slower and with a few side trips. At this rate it will happen this summer/fall and that's good enough for me.
You’re thinking ahead. I would want to be prepared too. I’m glad that the neighbor has a key but like you say, if she doesn’t know you, there could be a problem.
I am not sure how long it takes for PT after knee replacement. My mom wasn’t a candidate for knee surgery. I know that it’s painful.
When I did PT for my arm, there were several people in there who were going after having knee replacements. They had a tough time at first due to pain.
I have the door code but I haven't a key to the condo unit so I have asked R to send one to me by mail. If anything happened to him I would be in a bind without a key. I believe he gave one to the lady next door which is something the condo management requires but she doesn't know me from Adam, or I guess that is Eve and I don't know if she would let me in if something happened to R.
Better safe than sorry, I should have thought of it earlier.
There was another but much smaller flood in that one basement bedroom after the torrential rain so I am calling in an eaves-troughing company to look at repositioning the down spout to see if that works. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. It looks like this time I will have to get the laminate replaced to a degree. I have some extra, thankfully. The reno lads should be able to do that. I hope that will be the end of it.
I think I will get the rhubarb, which is growing mightily in another bed, transplanted to that corner. I used to have rhubarb there and never had drainage problems. It soaks up water well. Can't hurt and it gives a bit of greenery on that corner of the house. It will gets a lot of sunshine there too.
Anyone have any idea about how soon physio starts after a knee replacement? And how long it goes on? From what I have read online it starts pretty soon and goes on for weeks! R doesn't seem to know. I'm not sure that his surgeon's office is very well organized. He got a call in the evening to be in GP for his preop the next morning. It's a 4 hour drive! He should have info about doing exercises before and after. He needs to know where physio is and does he have a choice about that. GP is too far away for frequent appointments. Oh well!
I am one who holds their breath walking past car exhaust.
That amount of Vit D3 seems very high to me. Generally speaking around 2000 iu/day is quoted as being safe and effective for most purposes. I have been taking it for years. I have seen high doses suggested for short term for some conditions but would never take that much regularly. Glad you feel better since taking D3.
Chocolate - always chocolate. Very therapeutic!!! Feel good stuff. Eva, where are you?
Feeling better today but not related to air quality. The air quality can change so quickly. The thing is to get out and do chores while is it reasonable and I have the energy.
The spoon theory of energy works for me. Also resting up (building up more spoons, I guess) before hand when you know you will need more energy for something, and of course, resting during and resting after. This is notes to myself for the moving process. I still tend to over do it at times.
Rest, rest, rest!!! Best friend for those with CFS/FM.
But I get tired of resting, if that makes any sense. 🤨🙄🥴
You may already know this:
Here's a quick list of tips that can be helpful while the air is polluted by smoke. It is likely you have some or all of these in your home pharmacy or pantry...
DIET:
Whenever the body is under stress it requires extra vitamins and minerals. This is an important time to choose high quality whole foods. Nutrient-dense foods such as brightly colored fruits and vegetables will provide a mixture of natural antioxidants. Foods containing flavonoids have antioxidant and anti-inflammatory features that may provide additional lung protection. These foods include: strawberries, green tea, black tea, brussels sprouts, beans, onions and apples.
SUPPLEMENTS:
Vitamin C: Smoke causes inflammation via oxidative damage so antioxidants will be very helpful during this time. One of our best antioxidants is Vitamin C. You can increase your dose up to bowel tolerance (too much will cause loose stools). Recommended: 3000 to 6000mg/day in divided doses.
Vitamin D3: Supporting the immune system with vitamin D is especially important when dealing with smoke inhalation, especially those who have been diagnosed with a deficiency. Recommended: 5,000 to 10,000 iu/day with meals.
Source 360 M.D.
Wait, they forgot chocolate!
Feel better soon!
I know actually ingesting the Vit. D3 makes me feel better.
Way, renovating and downsizing is a b*tch. I had the house just about totally redone 12 years ago and that is long enough ago for things to start to need redoing again. I wanted to get out of here before that happened.
I have had the same neutral wall colour for a long time all through the house except for one basement bedroom that a son wanted in a nice chocolate brown. its a little den! Makes life easier. Neutrals are good for selling.
I have a great plumber, when he answer my texts and turns up!!! I know your frustrations.
Dd has helped me purge the basement several times. It's finally (pretty well) down to just what belongs there.
Much of the first half of my 80s has been spent getting this house sorted for sale. I have done most of it on my own, I surely want the second half of my 80s to be more peaceful and settled. I hope R's and my health cooperate. I don't plan on spending it in hospitals!!! Once his knee is done he should be good for a while (I hope).
$&@9&$5@f.
The driveway people did not show up to rip up and replace . Now the newish 3 years old hot water heater is sending scalding water . And still waiting for the plumber to replace shower and sink faucet fixtures . And don’t forget all the paint chips, because I can’t decide . DH told me to just make a mosaic on the wall out of all of them . Lol.
I won’t even talk about the basement . I’m inviting the kids over July 4th for a clean out session .
and thanks .
I quite like holidaying in a half ton with a camper on the back. It's not as unwieldy an RV. R likes tenting but my tenting days were over a while ago. We did about 10 years ago and the inflatable mattress didn't inflate and it rained. I still enjoyed it. Nothing like food cooked over an open fire. 🔥
I think most of us have to downsize at some point. It makes sense. We were thinking of another house down there but I backed off. So glad I did now.
Need - I could live in a hotel happily.
Way - that's a lot of grass to mow. Sorry about your dh's injury.
Bedtime here! 😴💤
I could live in one of those fancy RV’s! Some of them are larger than some apartments in NY.
LOL, When my brother left Tulane and went to NY, he lived in a teeny tiny apartment. I swear, his kitchen was about the size of a very small closet! He managed to cook great meals in his tiny kitchen. He didn’t need a big place. No wife or partner, only a cat who lived over 20 years! I loved visiting him in NY.
Oh, I know that I would most certainly crash one of those massive RV’s! LOL 😆 Still, it would be fun to be a gypsy and be able to drive your RV to a new location every month or so.
Wait, could you live in a hotel? I could!!!
My brother moved from NY to DC. He prefers NY. Both locations are good for him as an investment banker. He owns penthouse suites in hotels. I could easily live in a hotel.
That’s a lot of land!
You know what I mean, our homes are generally larger than the houses that we grew up in.
We shared bedrooms. Most of our kids had their own rooms.
Keeping up with a home and a large yard is a lot of work!
I don’t think we need a large house or yard. Downsizing is nice as we age. I definitely don’t get the ‘tiny homes’ craze though. That’s going from one extreme to another.
And what about people who buy RV’s. There are some beautiful RV’s today, but who wants to drive those super expensive luxury RV’s when we are older?
I swear I would crash it in one day! LOL 😆
You’ve been busy too!
Our health has to take priority over everything else.
Houses and cars are never maintenance free! It’s always something, isn’t it?
It’s funny how acquiring the larger home in our favored neighborhood is so important to us when we are younger.
Then as we get older, and our kids move on it becomes more than we need.
I find that as we get older, less is more!
Good luck Way and Golden with transitioning to a simpler life!
I’m supposed to be getting a new driveway soon . They were supposed to call today with the start date…….
Then, you will reap the rewards of your hard work and finally be able to relax for a while.
I have a list of tasks to do and I'm gonna get them done!!! That's all folks!
Hopefully there s something good at the end of it.
You have been busy! It will be nice when you can relax after everything is settled.
Made it out to supper with dd and fam. It was very nice. It's almost scary watching a large, still growing, 17 yr old boy eat. A big platter of Parmesan chicken with spaghetti, garlic toast and fries. 🍝 Then when he was waiting for desert he ate the rest of his mothers rice bowl. Desert was a chocolate explosion which disappeared quickly. 🎂
Saw the reno guy yesterday and I think he will work out well. He can start in two weeks.
Contacted the movers 🚛 and the lady will come to figure out a revised estimate next week.
Talked with R on the phone and he had to hang up as he was coughing too much. Says he is getting better and the physio is helping with his knee. We won't talk on the phone till the bronchitis is better.
My real estate guy from the condo can recommend a cleaners. 🧹
Just waiting for R to return to let the guy in to finish the flooring, and let the cleaners in after.
I think I can see a light at the end of this very long convoluted tunnel I have been in. Some relief! 😌😅
Hopefully there will be no more illnesses, broken sewer lines or such to get in the way.
Dear soul, he has even done some more of the flooring since his op. I've told him I have someone to finish it all and he should just concentrate on recovering,
Need, he has many good qualities, and like us all, some not so good ones. I don't know what I would have done without him during the mother care years. He was beside me and behind me in everything. We have worked on our relationship and I am happy with where we are at and where we are going. One of the things that endears him to many is that he has a gentle kindness to him and he is old fashioned polite (e.g. opens doors for people). That reminds me of my father who was courteous even on his death bed. Getting teary now thinking of my father.
The old CFS/FM has reared up again. It comes on like a thundercloud, stays for a while then leaves. I was going to take dd and fam to supper after they do the garden work, but that probably shouldn't happen now as I have the reno guy coming tomorrow and I need to conserve my energy for that. Always something!
I am so sorry everything has been so difficult. You can count on me to say prayers for you and R.
He sounds like such a sweetheart. It’s always hard to see those we love declining. I hope that he gets better soon. He’s very fortunate to have you in his life.