By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Surprisingly, the accusations of stealing are common. Typically the person has dementia or some other mental impairment. She misplaces something, or can't understand her bank statement, and since she "knows" that she is all right, the only explanation she can come up with is that somebody took her things. Who could take her things? Why, the person who is in her house most often, of course!
What are this woman's impairments? Does she see a doctor regularly? I don't think it is your responsibility to get her to go, but you should report to her son what you observe so he can make some decisions.
I remember how hard I took it when my husband began accusing me of stealing. That might have been the hardest part (for me) of the dementia to date. Fortunately it didn't last long -- I don't know if I could have taken it for years!
Maybe it would help to know that this isn't about your personally, and it isn't even about a cantankerous old lady getting meaner. It is probably about a defect in her brain that she has no control over.
Especially with your history of being bullied, I can see why you find this extremely stressful. You can call the cousin and bail. Let him find someone else to check on her, or make some other arrangements. Or you could detach from the situation emotionally, tell yourself she is not your relative (which is true) and you are just doing this as a favor to a friend, and do your tasks as a hired stranger would. Another option is to set boundaries with her, insist on respect, etc. -- but if I'm right about the defect in her brain, that might not change things much.
She'd getting nasty and accusatory. NOT YOUR FAULT.
She needs to have a thorough medical evaluation. NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Please try to hang in there until her son can take some action. But don't let it drag on forever. She maybe cannot help her behavior. Presumably her son can, so hold him accountable for dealing with this promptly.
Good luck to you, and to your cousin. This is far, far from easy or pleasant!